it's official - I've lost touch with the U.S.

Two weeks into my latest visit to 'The Old Country" and I have to say, the overwhelming feeling I am having about the U.S., home, and everything here is that I've lost touch with it. The issues that matter to family and friends don't ring with me; I've lost track of changes around me; but the saddest thing is the state of friends and family.

Most of my friends and family know I only come home a few times a year at best, and know in advance when I'm coming. But I guess leaving is leaving, and they don't seem to make much effort when I'm back to see me. Only my closest friends (count them on a few fingers of one hand) reach out to me when they know I'm coming home.

Maybe it's more of a reflection of how I lived my life when I was here than anything else. Maybe I have a faulty, romantic memory that we were all closer than I believed? I understand that everyone lives their own life, and gets on with it; maybe the issue is I wanted to believe I mattered more than I do. I guess everyone wants to feel that way though.

So, save for my closest family and a couple friends, I might as well not be home at all. Maybe in the future I wont bother to let anyone know I'm coming back. As it is, I mainly feel like a ghost, haunting my old neighbourhood, making sounds no one can hear.